In 2013, I have committed to a goal of two genealogy webinars, four FamilySearch lessons and at least one business related webinar each month. That averages to five hours a month. That is obtainable, and I was able to meet that goal in January. I chose the FamilySearch platform for the year because they have so many options, varying in depth, scope and length. Generally speaking, I have enjoyed them.
This was different.
I was fascinated. Honestly, it was one of the best sessions I have ever listened to. Period.
So much so, that I watched it a second time later that evening, when I could really focus. So good that I looked her up in the Association of Professional Genealogists (APG) Directory and sent her an email with my compliments. I was happy to receive her reply, in which she indicated that she presents this as a live session, as well.
It wasn't that Mrs. Cox offered me my own brick wall ancestor (Oscar) on a silver platter; it was the way she spoke. Naturally, fluidly, comfortably. And it made all the difference. We've all said it, and I’m sure we will say it again: there is nothing worse than having someone “present” by reading their presentation slides like a script. This lesson was filled with entertaining – and real – stories, of a real person; with real life problems. Her challenges included getting around her ancestor’s own lies, and then having to admit to herself that he lied.
I nearly lost a plate.
When my "lightbulb" went off, I was up to my elbows in bubbly dish water, with a dinner plate mid-scour. It almost hit the floor. Oh my! What if Oscar didn't want his father to be identified?? I have five theories as to who Oscar's father was. Did he hide the truth, did he give a different name, different story, different identity on every record to distance himself from his actual Dad?
Every record that I have been able to identify that Oscar would have had some influence on - his marriage license, his political campaign in the local newspaper, the information given to family members used in his obituary - all contain a different name for his father. I have always assumed (there's that nasty word again!) that I was making a mistake in my research; that I was "not seeing" something. Human error on the part of the clerk. The father's first and middle names were used interchangeably.
I had not once before considered the idea that this could be an intentionally hidden truth.
The questions only continued to expand from there. Was he ashamed of his father, or some other member of his family? Was he, Oscar, in fact the "black sheep?" Was he adopted or illegitimate? I know that one of his sisters, Mary (Brown) Collins, was said to have been "crazy" when she died. Was there more stigma attached to the family that Oscar was running away from?
The simple truth is that when the research becomes so personal, when the challenge drives you to search through record sets until dawn; admitting that the ancestor you seek may have not shared your own values is difficult at best, if not impossible. That is one of the greatest lessons of Mrs. Cox's lesson: you must distance yourself emotionally and think "creatively" to find the answer. I will leave the rest of the lesson for you to discover from the source; as she says it far better than I ever could.
If you watch any webinar or session in the near future (excluding perhaps the live stream of RootsTech 2013, which I’ll be glued to); watch this one. You can bet that if I ever have the chance to see Apryl Cox speak live, I'll be first in line. I hope you'll be there with me.